There is a specific and terrifying difference between “never were” monsters and “are not anymore” monsters
“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying
“The thing that was not a deer anymore” on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations.
hey I totally fucked up and forgot the 3rd type, which is “Is Not Anymore And Maybe Never Was” monsters
“The thing which was no longer a deer and maybe never was” implies a creature that, at first glance, completely appears to be a deer, but over time degrades very slowly until you realize (probably too late) that it is not a deer anymore, and had you seen it in this state first, you wouldn’t have recognized it as a deer at all, and there’s a decent chance that it was never actually a deer to begin with but only a very good mimic, and what makes this one scary is the slow change from everything being right to everything being wrong, happening slowly enough that you don’t even notice it until its too late, as well as the fact that something now so clearly not a deer could have fooled you to begin with.And the fourth type, which is, “I dunno, but it sure ain’t a deer.” Which implies complete confusion about what the creature could be, to the point that even a person as comfortable in this world as someone who would use the word ain’t unironically is uncertain, which should horrify you to the deepest depths of your soul.
(via sterekshaven)
Anonymous asked: Sixpenceee! Your forgotten dare day was a success. You had the entirety of tumblr creeped the fuck out. Are you going to compile a list of the dares presented today?
THANK YOU!
Yes, I will. None of these dares will be deleted. Here’s a list of all of the forgotten dares.
Also all of these dares can be found at:
Here you go guys!!
I’ve been baking/cooking/etc. as a hobby for about 15 years now (omg it’s been 15 wtf - ahem sorry, I’m going to be 30 this year and I’m in a weird place about it) and I’ve made creme brulee, tiramisu, different breads, butter, crepes, and the grooms cake at my mom’s wedding, so not a paid professional or anything, but not a newbie. And let me tell you something.
I have no tolerance for bakers who talk shit about boxed cake recipes.
None.
Bakers like to say “omg is it SOOO hard to measure out flour and sugar” and you know what
Yes. Yes it is. If you’ve never done it before.
People so easily take it for granted that correctly measuring ingredients is a skill. A skill we all had to learn, some of us younger than others. Would you know to level off flour if no one told you? No. No is the answer. The only answer. Don’t tell me otherwise. If you’re a baker, you only know to level off your measuring cups because someone told you to. (Don’t even get me started on weighing ingredients.) Would you know that there’s a massive difference between baking powder and baking soda? Very possibly not.
I got started baking by using boxed recipes. Then one day I was craving white cake then thought, hey I could probably do this myself, and I whipped one up from scratch no problem. But that was after familiarizing myself with my kitchen by making dozens of boxed cakes.
No one else in my family bakes. My parents both cooked, but neither of them were bakers. I knew my way around the kitchen by the time I was in high school, but I’d never made cakes before, certainly not from scratch. Boxed mixes were a good way for 14 year old me to get comfortable with making cakes and ease into it. It also gave me experience with playing with flavors, seeing what icings go best with what flavors.
Trust me, cakes can be intimidating if you’ve never made them before. If you disagree, it’’s probably because you’ve been baking a while and again, are taking it for granted that your experience gives you ease with the process.
Also, some people don’t have a lot of supplies in their kitchens, some people don’t have a lot of time, or energy, or space, or give-a-damn. They get a craving, they stir an egg and some oil and some powder in a bowl, pour it into a pan, throw it in the oven, slather the results in icing, and eat it and they have experienced joy. They’ve made something and feel accomplished. Don’t take that away because you want to feel snide and superior.
And those posts on how to dress up boxed mixes and make them better, like using melted butter instead of oil and milk instead of water, etc are wonderful because they make you think about the chemistry of baking if you’re a beginner with baking. So stop being a shit about it.
Tl;dr, everyone starts somewhere, so don’t be a butthead.
concept: a mini-sphinx that sits on your counter and asks you riddles any time you try to get by her, and if you get the answer wrong she knocks a bunch of shit off the counter
Housecat+, now with 13% more stress.
(via technicolorhousecat)